What 22 Infertility Bloggers Hated About Choosing Their Fertility Clinic

By Griffin Jones

"a prudent question is one half of wisdom"--francis bacon

Recently, someone who is very involved in the field of infertility reinforced what hundreds of patients have told me for two years; there's an astounding gap between the way many fertility practices deliver their services and what patients want and expect. That's exactly why our company has the word "Bridge" in its name. According to a study conducted in 2012 by Forrester, 80% of companies say they deliver superior service to their customers. Meanwhile, only 8% of those companies received a superior customer rating. If you're seeking treatment for infertility, the delivery of the services you receive should be nothing less than superior. No clinic is entitled to your selection. Even in states and countries where some rounds of IVF are covered, there are still many circumstances in which you could pay tens of thousands of dollars of your own money. If you live in a large enough area, or are able to travel, you have a choice. Your choice isn't an easy one to make, given how much is at stake. I don't own any fertility centers (...yet), but because we direct their marketing based on what you tell us, I'll speak about them in the first person voice.

Getting out of our own way

infertility blogger round up

As fertility practice groups, we sometimes spend a lot of money in an attempt to help you make that decision. Or at least we think we do. Sometimes we try to grow our practices without any strong understanding of what you need to feel comfortable (and eventually very satisfied) to move forward with treatment at our center or someone else's. We frequently forget that there is a simpler way of earning your choice. We could remove the unnecessary challenges, annoyances, uncertainties, and causes for anxiety that you face when you are searching for a fertility specialist. How do we build not just a proven marketing system, but an entire practice culture, around what goes through your mind when you debate coming to our clinic, another practice group, or seeking no treatment at all? This is a laborious and continuing process, but I had a crazy idea of where to start when I entered this field, and I decided to do it again.

I asked you.

In early 2015, I wrote a report from interviews with several infertility peer support group leaders. This time, I decided to ask over twenty prominent infertility bloggers to candidly answer the same short question. One question isn't enough to understand everything involved in how you decide which practice will play this instrumental role in your life, and what we need to do to make you feel very good about that decision. We need as much feedback as we can possibly get. We need to ask follow up questions, issue patient satisfaction surveys, read what you say anonymously about us online, take action on your collective input and repeat that process forever. Still, in their own right, the candid answers of several different people to the same question is very insightful. I chose bloggers because they have not only a wealth of personal experience, but also because they are each in contact with hundreds of other people who deal with infertility. They are on the pulse of the infertility community. As you'll read, there are several reasons why people choose clinics, and they're not mutually exclusive. 

20 infertility bloggers all answered one question

20 infertility bloggers all answered one question

What was the most annoying part about choosing your fertility clinic?"

OVERWHELMING OPTIONS

In Due Time , @caroline_induetime 
"There are too many clinics to choose from. It's so hard to choose one".

No Bun in the Oven @nobunintheoven 
"Choosing a fertility clinic is an overwhelming experience because it's an expensive process! The most annoying part of finding my clinic was finding reliable experiences about the doctors. Where is the Rate My Fertility Doctor website? Where can a couple go to find real life experiences on these professionals who are getting paid tens of thousands of dollars for treatment? It was hard to find and we were ultimately left shopping at several clinics before finding the 'right one' for us".

Hoping for a Best@hopingforbabybest
"Wondering if you made the right choice".

Anonymous 

"Just scared of making the wrong choice".

UNCLEAR COSTS/BILLING

Smart Fertility Choices, @SmartFertilityChoices
"It was difficult to understand the entire cost involved in doing a cycle".

Rad Kitten@RadKitten
"Cost first and foremost. Second is beside manner. I'm not just a paycheck, I'm a person".

TTC a Taxson Baby@ttcataxsonbaby
"The most annoying part about choosing my fertility clinic was finding out that they don't take either of our insurances! Annoying and frustrating"!

Happiness Glass@happinessglass_
"That insurance dictates where you can or cannot go. Also I chose based on location/convenience to me rather than quality of service".

Amateur Nester, @amateurnester
"I found it frustrating that most clinics didn't have their costs listed on their websites. It would have made planning much easier if we'd had this information up front".

Its Positive Living, @its_positive
"Insurance (not having many options to chose from in my network/being tied to my network ... I have an HMO)".

THE RIGHT FIT WITH THE RIGHT PERSONNEL

The 2 Week Wait, @the2weekwait
"It was finding both a doctor and suggested protocol I truly felt enthusiastic about. To me, success rates can be manipulated, other patient opinions can vary and ultimately - nothing is more reliable than your own gut. If a doctor clicks with you, if the treatment suggested makes sense and you feel good about, that's all you need".

PCOS Diva, @PCOSDiva
It is disappointing when doctors do not have a solid understanding of how to treat PCOS using lifestyle modification as first line therapy.

Expecting Anything, @expectinganything
The most annoying part for me was the "marketing" behind this process by doctors/clinics. I mean, I get that it's a business for them, but some doctors forget that we are human, and this is real life shit for us! They all have different "sell tactics". They either beat you down and make you feel really bad or depressed about your situation, or they try to be overly sincere and emotional. We just want some facts and compassion people! Is it that hard!? I don't need to see all of the trophies "ie, baby pictures" plastered on the walls or some premeditated sob story. Show me your success rates and that you give a shit. It's that easy!

Our Misconception@ourmisconception
"The gatekeepers. You know the receptionists. These are the first faces you will see and the first you speak to when scheduling a consult or an appointment. They will be the ones that set the tone for the rest of the patient/user experience. Having navigated a cacophony of medical offices, this is an area/industry where empathy, education of the patient and social etiquette need to be greatly invested in as it lacks in most cases. My husband once had to spell out craniotomy to the appointment scheduler of his brain surgeons office. True story".

Triumphs and Trials@triumphsandtrials
"The most annoying part was going in to it blindly. Not knowing what the doctors were like and if they would be a good fit".

Anonymous 
"I needed an individualized approach on my treatment and a specialist who is willing to spare time to answer my questions and stay on top of all the details about my case. Not every clinic can do that due to patient volume. I was glad I was able to find the clinic I dreamed for after trying a big center in bay area, CA".

A LACK OF ALTERNATIVES

Infertile Soil, @infertilesoil
"In Canada you need to be referred to a fertility clinic (sometimes clinics will charge you if you don't have a referral) and many times doctors will refer you to just one particular clinic.

SIFTING THROUGH COMPLICATED INFORMATION

Trials Bring Joy@chels819
"Navigating outdated SART data".

AN EASY CHOICE FROM A TRUSTED SOURCE

Secret Infertility@FranMeadows
"I had a transition with ease since my OB/GYN referred me over to a fertility doctor that they personally used. This helped me feel more confident from the moment I walked through their doors. There was nothing annoying about me choosing a doctor".

 Life Abundant@lifeabundant_jw
"Nothing. My OB is able to do everything except IVF and is very knowledgeable in infertility treatment practice after doing her residency in a fertility clinic, so I have gotten lucky and have the best of both worlds. If we need IVF, I'll have to go elsewhere, and I will connect with her residency clinic and the doctor she trained under".

LET'S NOT MAKE THIS ANY HARDER THAN IT HAS TO BE

Hilariously Infertile, @hilariously_infertile
Uhhh. Being freakin' infertile is the most annoying part about choosing a fertility clinic.

Waiting In Hope, @waiting_in_hope
Honestly the most annoying part about choosing a fertility clinic is having to choose one AT ALL. Having to acknowledge the need for a fertility clinic/reproductive endocrinologist is heart breaking. It’s an acceptance that something is wrong. You have to grieve the loss of having a baby the “normal OB/GYN” route. And that it just might not be "easy".

Give the people what they want

As much as it's a service to you to equip you with clear information to make your decision, really, it's in our own best interest. The most effective way to grow our practices is through the detailed execution of a very simple premise: give you what you want. You can't decide on a clinic because you have no idea how SART success rates are being presented? Guess we need to make a video explaining SART data in plain English. You can't compare IVF costs between our competitors because no one will give you a straight answer? Sounds like we need to make an IVF cost checklist that you can download to compare potential additional costs. You felt isolated during your time at our practice because we never told you about support groups in our area? Apparently we need to make sure all of our patients go home knowing about the online, professional, and peer support resources that are available to them. In the age of ubiquitous communication, there is no shortage of ways to be able to collect and validate your input. Some clinics will ignore you and tell themselves they do a great job of getting you the information you want. Others will heed your suggestions and grow because of it. These are the clinics that deserve your choice, because you deserve nothing less.

Do you have something you want to say about your experience with your practice? Good, bad, or neutral? Please leave a comment or send me an e-mail! I would love to hear what you have to say.