6 Things Infertility Taught Me
There is no question, my journey to parenthood was the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. My entire life I dreamed of becoming a mother and the thought of this dream not happening was heartbreaking. I wouldn’t wish infertility on anyone but I do believe that infertility taught me six things that changed my life for the better.
I’ve always been a Type A, go-getter. I was working in my dream job by age 21, I had my Master’s degree by age 22, I married my high school sweetheart at 23… I really thought I could plan for everything that I wanted in life but this journey taught me not everything is in my control and I needed to be patient. The never-ending waiting for your next doctor’s appointment, waiting for your medicine to arrive, or waiting for the next cycle was extremely hard and it seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel was far, far away. What gave me patience and hope was the many options that were available: IUI’s, IVF, surrogacy, and adoption. There were so many options and I knew one of these options would help me become a mom. Every day I kept telling myself that I was one day closer to becoming a mom and that kept me going.
There were times that I didn’t want to face the outside world and didn’t want to get on social media because I knew I’d probably see a baby announcement. Though I was always happy for others, I was also incredibly sad for myself. That being said, through the sadness and fear, I kept reminding myself that I was made to be a mother and I needed to be strong and fight like one. Sometimes you have to go through really hard struggles to realize how strong you are.Empathy
In this world, we are so quick to judge. Infertility taught me that you don’t always know what someone is going through. Everyone is going through some tough battle that you might not have any idea about. I wish everyone would look deeper into a person before they make any assumptions. Wouldn’t this world be more beautiful if we all did this?
One of the best pieces of advice I can give someone who is struggling with infertility is to treat yourself when something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. Whenever a treatment failed for us, we booked a trip to cheer us up because traveling makes our hearts happy. Due to a lot of failed treatments we were able to travel to several different countries. I’m thankful for these trips because it opened my eyes (and my husbands) to so many different cultures, provided me so much joy during this hard time, and most importantly, it taught me to be grateful for what I do have. I know trips aren’t always feasible but do something that makes you happy and brings you joy after a failed treatment, whether that be a pedicure, a trip, spend the day with a loved one, or even just a night out. You deserve it and it’s always nice to be reminded to be grateful for what you do have.
The TTC Community and TTC Sisterhood is a Real Thing
The TTC Community on Instagram was so supportive and non-judgmental during my journey. We’d pray for each other, cry for each other, and were always there during the good times and the bad. They also “understood” what you were going through. This community made me feel not alone. There are a lot of good people in this world, you just have to find them. If you’re going through infertility, please find us on Instagram (my username is MyTwinMomAdventures). We are a VERY welcoming group and would love to have you.
It Made Me a Better Mother
This will sound very cliché, but I truly believe this struggle made me a better parent. I’m sure I would’ve been a good mom even if I hadn’t struggled with infertility but infertility made me realize what miracles my children are. It made me a more understanding, patient, and grateful mother. I thank God, every single day that I get to be their mom. I will never take being a mom for granted.
When going through infertility, you can easily get caught up in how horrible, unfair, and sad everything is. Or you can take what’s happening and learn from it. I was often consumed in anger and sadness but I did learn these important lessons and I truly believe that I am a better person because of the journey I went through.
BRIANNA IS A MOM TO BOY/GIRL TWINS, CAMDEN AND ELLA! SHE AND HER HUSBAND STRUGGLED WITH INFERTILITY FOR YEARS. AFTER THREE ROUNDS OF IVF (IN VITRO FERTILIZATION), THEY WERE BLESSED WITH THEIR MIRACLE TWINS. WHEN SHE’S NOT WITH HER FAMILY, SHE’S PURSUING ONE OF HER PASSIONS: TRAVELING (40 COUNTRIES AND COUNTING!), WORKING OUT, ORGANIZING, DECORATING, COOKING, BLOGGING, OR WATCHING REALITY TV!