By Owen Davis
My name is Owen and I am so excited to share my story with you guys today. I am a part time orthopedic Physician Assistant and a full-time mommy. I still get butterflies when I call myself a mom… I will never get used to hearing that and I will never take it for granted. Unless you have personally struggled with infertility, you probably have no idea that this week is National Infertility Awareness Week. A week dedicated to bringing awareness to a topic that is under discussed and over prevalent. I'm sharing our story in hopes of removing the stigma surrounding infertility and to help at least one person feel less alone.
Our infertility story began when we were just dating when a doctor delivered the heartbreaking news that it would be hard for us to get pregnant naturally in the future. At that point we knew we would one day get married and want babies so we decided to proceed with surgery, knowing that it may or may not help our chances. These are some scary decisions to make for your future when you are just dating. After surgery it was just a waiting game... we wouldn't know whether it was successful until we started trying to conceive. Fast forward about 4 years. We were married and it was (finally!) time to start trying to get pregnant.
This is where God stepped in, as He always does. I was in PA school and I chose to do one of my elective clinical rotations in infertility medicine. Ever since our infertility journey began it had become so intriguing to me both medically and personally. I told the reproductive endocrinologist I worked with all about our story and asked his personal opinion. He told me that we should go back to our previous doctor for more testing since we had not successfully gotten pregnant yet. So back to the doctor we went where more tests were done which showed that 1) the surgery had not worked and 2) they were concerned my husband may have a benign brain tumor that could also be affecting fertility. An MRI was done which did, in fact, show that he has a benign brain tumor also affecting fertility. With all of these factors, they told us our only option was IVF.
We were referred to UNC Fertility where we met our absolutely amazing doctor for a consultation and more testing and he agreed that IVF was our only option. That was a really low point in my life. I was overwhelmed, ashamed, heartbroken, scared and lonely. I decided that I could either keep it a secret from everyone or I could bravely share our story with the world which is what we decided to do. I am not a sharer by nature so this was a huge leap of faith for me! But I knew that if I stepped out of my comfort zone I could bring awareness to infertility and break the stigma behind it. I prayed that I could help at least one woman not feel so alone by sharing our journey.
Now it was go time! From there we began shots in preparation for egg retrieval. Egg retrieval went amazing and we got 44 eggs, 28 of which became healthy, day 5 embryos! This was such amazing news and a huge relief. I then suffered from ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) so our fresh embryo transfer was canceled while my body recovered. Six weeks later I was feeling great and ready to proceed with a frozen embryo transfer! We started medications again and on June 24, 2016 we transferred one grade 4AA embryo. It was the most amazing experience watching it on the screen and I will never forget my doctor saying, "You should be cautiously optimistic!"
Five days later I did what any Type-A person would and peed on a stick... there was no way I could wait 4 more days for my blood test. A faint line appeared immediately and I was in shock! The rest of my pregnancy flew by and at 37 weeks I delivered our perfect baby girl via urgent C-section after 50 hours of labor.
Struggling with infertility was a huge blessing in disguise. While I would never wish it on my worst enemy, it taught me so much about myself and about life in general. The three things that infertility has taught me are:
1) Never ask someone when they are going to have kids. You don't know what they may be going through. They could be going through IVF, IUI, just had a miscarriage, been trying for years unsuccessfully, you name it. Everyone's story is different and 1 in 8 people are struggling to get pregnant. Words can hurt so badly when you are in the midst of infertility heartbreak. Think before asking someone such personal information.
2) Ask how she is doing. If someone you know has shared that they are going through infertility, always say something. I was so hurt by the things that people didn't say when we were struggling. Some of the people I am closest to never said a word to me about it. I know that they felt uncomfortable and at a loss for what to say, but I will never forget feeling so alone and forgotten by some of my closest friends. Even if you don't know what to say, a simple "I'm thinking about you and praying for you" goes such a long way.
3) Never take a single moment for granted. I am one of the lucky ones who got my miracle baby on this side of Heaven. Not everyone is that lucky and I will never take that for granted. Even the most boring, mundane days with her are the best days ever. At least once a day I think to myself, "I still remember the days I prayed for the things I have now". Infertility has made me so much more patient and grateful. Our battle with infertility wasn't easy but the fact that it resulted in our baby girl made it so worth it. I would take every injection, procedure, tears and heartache all over again to be her mommy.
Owen lives with her husband and their 14-month-old baby girl in eastern North Carolina. She is a beach bum at heart and loves a good cup of coffee and cold glass of prosecco. She began blogging in 2014 to document their lives as she navigated PA school, marriage, and traveling. She quickly realized that she would be doing the world a disservice if she wasn’t transparent about their struggles with infertility and their journey through IVF which led to their miracle baby.